With Love, Carissa

17
May

Live Below the Line-Day 3

Wow, today felt like I was just dragging throughout the day, hoping for it to be over with.

I prepared myself for the a 6 hour shift today at work, making breakfast a lot bigger than I had originally scheduled for, but I knew I needed the energy. Not only was I hungry throughout my shift just from the lack of food, but seeing food everywhere definitely didn’t help.The smell was intoxicating.

One thing I really noticed during work was how wasteful people are. People would buy some food, take a bite out of it, and throw it away. Honestly, I was pretty tempted to eat the food that people didn’t want. Why are we a society of such wastefulness? I know a lot of bakeries and restaurants are required to throw away food at the end of the night, even when the food it perfectly fine and can so easily be donated to the homeless. It just makes me sad that not only do we waste food, but we don’t give that excess to the people who really need it the most.

Not only was it more difficult today, I also found myself being hungry all the time. I would eat and feel pretty satisfied, but think about food and feel hungry an hour later.

That hunger didn’t just affect my stomach, it completely affected my physical and mental state. I was exhausted all day long. I even almost fell asleep during class (which is unlike me to do so). My emotional state was also not super stable. I know that I’m a pretty emotional person, but today, it just felt like I was getting angry in the little things that shouldn’t matter to me.

Definitely a difficult day, filled with so many temptations to quit and fill my stomach up with lots of foooooooodddd. But I’m really grateful that I haven’t quite (yet). I really want this experience to mold me to be someone who is more aware of these everyday things that normally doesn’t seem to faze me.

I’m hoping tomorrow will be a bit easier! And hoping that everyone else that is doing this challenge is doing well and surviving!
3756
16
May

did-you-kno:

Source
11886
16
May

(via did-you-kno)
16
May

Live Below the Line-Day 1 & Day 2

Day 1.

I’m actually glad that my monday schedule is what it is right now. I don’t have any classes so I didn’t have to worry about starving during class or how I would feel mentally in class. I ate a pretty late breakfast, so that I could fill out the day better.

I had two eggs and two pieces of bread for breakfast, and that was actually pretty filling, which was no surprise for me because I normally have two eggs with nothings on the side. Hunger satisfaction: 5/5

I then waited until 3pm before I had my next meal. I was pretty hungry by then.

Had two pieces of bread with some tuna. I’m not sure if I’m really allowed to do this, but I mixed in some mayo-like a tuna sandwich. Hunger satisfaction: 4/5.

What really encouraged me was dinner. My friend, Peter, posted on our college group facebook page asking if anyone wanted to support each other by praying and eating dinner together. Even though I’m not doing Hunger for Change, I thought I would still eat dinner with everyone. It was nice to know that I wasn’t alone in this experience and there were people experiencing the same thing. It was nice to even talk about our first day experience and our anticipation for the next couple days.

Had some rice with some cream corn as well as two pieces of toast. As you can see, I forgot to take a picture before I devoured some food because I was just so hungry. Hunger satisfaction 5/5.

I was surprisingly full after each meal, although sometimes that feeling didn’t last too long (especially after lunch). But what I really noticed was how unhealthy I was eating. Pretty much everything I’m eating is full of carbs. I couldn’t buy any vegetable because I couldn’t afford it….maybe I should have substituted in a vegetable with something..I’m not really sure. Another thing I noticed was the heartburn I received after eating dinner. I have not had heartburn in……YEARS, or maybe even ever, but I definitely felt a little something. I’m guessing it has something to do with all the carbohydrates I’m consuming and no veggies.

Day 2.

I had the same kinds of food, but just mixed it up a little, so I had some rice and corn for lunch as well as dinner.

Today was definitely more difficult. First off, I had classes today. I ended up skipping my first class of the day at 8:30am because I was just so exhausted. I never realized how I tired I would be from not eating that much. When I did go to my other two classes of the day, I had such a hard time focusing in class and what the professors were talking about. I didn’t exactly doze off, but I had to force myself to really pay attention to what was going on in class.

It was kind of interesting that I was hungry, faster today as well. I was pretty full after each meal, like yesterday, but I became pretty hunger only about 2 hours after having my meal.

Dinner was something that I was anticipating the most for. I’m taking a class called Theodyssey and it is class that is a 7 month commitment. Today was the last meeting and so my leader decided to make it a celebratory dinner to go along with it. When I had mentioned that I was doing this challenge, it didn’t seem like there was a lot of support in it, which was actually pretty frustrating. I really thought they would support me in my decision and do something else besides a big festive dinner. When I went to meet up with them, they did, in fact, have quite a bit of food out for everyone. I think it is hard enough to do this hunger challenge, but when other people are eating a feist in front of you as you eat your small portioned out meal, it makes things very discouraging and a bit frustrating. To add on to it, people brought homemade desserts to end off the night with and continued to comment about the food that they were eating. It makes me wonder if people who live like this on a daily basis have to experience the same experience of people taunting them. And I know taunt is not the best word to describe what my group was doing to me, but I definitely did not feel any support from them. I just wondering if people who are always hungry, experience this when they are with other people. Just lots of thoughts.

Yesterday’s compared to tonight’s dinner REALLY made me see that I do need that support from the community in order for me to finish this challenge because it was really hard for me to do it by myself with no support.

ANYWAYS… concerns for tomorrow: I work for 6 hours.. I hope I don’t faint. I’ve made my breakfast a little bigger than normal so that I can slowly eat through out my shift and just eat less as the day goes on (instead of the other way around). God please give me strength.
4
14
May

Live Below the Line (Preface)

Wow, I don’t think I ever really post on my tumblr. I only ever repost cool/cute/interesting things and like pictures and cool quotes, but I thought this would be an interesting experience to document.

My church announced a few weeks ago that they were going to do a challenge called “Hunger For Change” which is an experience that allows you to experience what half the world’s population experiences on a daily basis of living off less than 2 dollars a day. You purchase a box which is (lets be honest) tiny and contains rice, beans, and oatmeal which is suppose to last you five days. This packet is 25 dollars which not only buys the food that you eat, but will also sustain a person for a whole year! And if you are interested in this challenge, then here is the link to this awesome event: http://tradeasone.com/get_involved/hungry_for_change/

To be honest, I’ve been telling people that the reason why I “couldn’t” do this challenge was because I couldn’t eat beans, but to be really honest, I just hate eating beans. I hate the way they taste, the smell, and the texture of it is just nasty to me. I’m not too sure why I told people that lie. I think it was because part of me didn’t want to look like a horrible person in front of my friends, and the other part felt spoiled. Most people who live in poverty don’t have that option of deciding what they like or don’t like to eat, and here I am not wanting to challenge myself because I didn’t want to eat beans.

I honestly did want to challenge myself in some sort of way, but just didn’t know how. Then a week ago, my friend Jennifer posted on her facebook that she was going to do a very similar challenge called “Live Below the Line”. In this one, you challenge yourself to only spend on average 1.50 dollars on food per day, which is the U.S equivalent of the extreme poverty line (https://www.livebelowtheline.com/us-thechallenge). I thought I would choose this challenge because (not only do I not have to eat beans,but) it had the same goal as “Hunger for Change”. I also really wanted to have the feeling of support with the church as Vintage Faith is doing Hunger For Change as a community. And Hunger for Change and Live Below the Line are both 5 day challenges which makes me feel like I’m doing this challenge with the church.

Whew, such a long intro, but now onto my experience as I prep for this challenge:

Honestly, just preparing myself for this challenge has already been eye-opening. I went to lunch with my friend after church today and I got a burrito, costing 6.75. That is 4 days worth of food to most people. I started to realize that what I spend on an average meal could sustain someone for a week….or maybe even more.

I also thought that I would have more options of what I could instead of beans and rice everyday for pretty much every meal, but turns out its definitely not true. How many options did I really think I could have with $7.50 to spend?!

I went to target today with a couple friends and I decided to see if I could just buy my food there hoping that the cost of food would be cheaper. I wandered up and down each aisle about 4-5 times before even picking up a single item. Most foods I thought I would be able to afford were too expensive. A jar of peanut butter was around $3, sliced deli meat was around $2-3 (cheapest), canned soup costed around $2-3. I could either buy what I wanted and eat around 2 meals for the whole week, or buy really inexpensive, processed, bleached foods and have around 3 small meals per day. This is what I ended up getting:

Bread: $1.15

Rice: $0.87

Eggs: $1.26

2 Cans of Corn: $1.44 ($0.72 each)

2 Cans of Tuna: $1.58 ($0.79 each)

Coming to a total of $6.33. Now, the week hasn’t started yet, so I’m really hoping that I don’t have to use that extra dollar for anything, but is there just in case I guess. And just to make sure I don’t eat too much in the first couple days, I mapped out a rough schedule of what to eat what which meal:

Breakfast: 2 eggs and possibly 2 pieces of toast

Lunch: 1/3 can of tuna on 2 pieces of toast

Snack: 1 piece of toast

Dinner: 1 cup of cooked rice with 1/3 can of corn and 1 piece of toast.

I’m scared.

I’m really hoping that my eyes are set on the right goals when it comes to this goal. I really struggle with my weight, and I really don’t want my goal at any point of this challenge to see it as losing weight. I also don’t want to see this challenge as saving money from food that I would normally be spending on, and taking that money to go shopping. I really want keep my eyes focused on how most people in this world are hungry day in and day out. I want this to be an eye opening experience of how lucky I am to be able to have money to afford foods that I want to eat.

Vintage mentioned was how people are encouraged to calculate the difference a person normally spends on food and how much we save and to use that money to donate it to a cause related to poverty. Definitely considering this!

Nervous, scared, but excited and ready to be changed! Bring it on!
22097
7
May

did-you-kno:

This building is located in Dresden, Germany. It’s called Neustadt Kunsth of passage. And when it rains it starts to play music.
120306
2
May

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
caelums:

emilietherese:

“Daddy interrogates daughter to get a confession on who is her favorite parent.”
Too cute!

THIS IS THE BEST/CUTEST THING EVER.

omg can i has

(Source: mikedaoo, via moleculess)
76677
27
Apr

penandscript:

alice-left-wonderland:

They told me the big black Lab’s name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I’d only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn’t hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie’s advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn’t look like “Lab people,” whatever that meant. They must’ve thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn’t really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.

I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that. “Okay, Reggie,” I said out loud, “let’s see if your previous owner has any advice.”
____________ _________ _________ _________

To Whomever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can’t say that I’m happy you’re reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie’s new owner. I’m not even happy writing it. He knew something was different.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he’s part squirrel, the way he hoards them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn’t done it yet. Doesn’t
matter where you throw them, he’ll bound after them, so be careful. Don’t do it by any roads.

Next, commands. Reggie knows the obvious ones —-“sit,” “stay,” “come,” “heel.”

He knows hand signals, too: He knows “ball” and “food” and “bone” and “treat” like nobody’s business.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He’s up on his shots. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don’t know how he knows when it’s time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. It’s only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He’s gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn’t bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

And that’s why I need to share one more bit of info with you…His name’s not Reggie. He’s a smart dog, he’ll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn’t bear to give them his real name. But if someone is reading this … well it means that his new owner should know his real name. His real name is “Tank.” Because, that is what I drive.

I told the shelter that they couldn’t make “Reggie” available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could’ve left Tank with .. and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter … in the “event” … to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my CO is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he’d do it personally. And if you’re reading this, then he made good on his word.

Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family. And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he
loved me.

If I have to give up Tank to keep those terrible people from coming to the US I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that’s enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. Maybe I’ll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,

Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver
Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

“Hey, Tank,” I said quietly.

The dog’s head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

“C’mere boy.”

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn’t heard in months. “Tank,” I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my
face into his scruff and hugged him.

“It’s me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me.” Tank reached up and licked my cheek.

“So whatdaya say we play some ball?” His ears perked again.

“Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?”

Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room. And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.”

Crying. Right now.

And I’m crying again…

(Source: stephaniekilbury, via willnevercatchme)
54906
17
Apr

the-absolute-best-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

(Source: messyinnocence)
10
16
Apr

"People were created to be loved
& Things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos
Is that things are being loved
And people are being used."

- (via exhilarashen)